Careful Santa

Santa: What are you doing with knife?   Banta: Preparing to commit suicide. Santa: But why are you heating it? Banta: To prevent infection.

Shower

Santa heard the knock on door when he was in shower. he quickly rushed to open the door. It was Banta on the door.
Banta - Abe besharam, kuch pehan to aaa.
Santa - sorry! He quickly runs in the bathroom and comes back wearing slippers.

Latest news flash---JalonWala Mall Power Failure

Akhali Dal ne aj chandigarh high court ke aage naare lagaye. According to the leader of Akhali Dal, Mr Santa singh, Rescue workers discriminated against Sardars during JalonWala Mall Power Failure episode. Sardars are very upset and 12 Sardars will take turns for nightly Anshan till a proper court action is taken against discrimination. According to Mr Santa Singh, Rescue workers rescued 1 white "angrej" from stuck Elevator but refused to rescue 50 stuck sardars on Escalators during power failure. 20 Sardars fell sick due to outbreak of infections in cramped space on escalators.

Antonyms interview

Interviewer: Tell me the opposite of good??

Santa : Bad

Interviewer: Come

Santa : GO

Interviewer: Ugly

Santa : Pichlli

Interviewer: Nahi Ugly

Santa : Yes Pichlli

Interviewer: Ugly!!!

Santa : Pichlli!!!!

Interviewer: Just Shut up

Santa : Keep Talking

Interviewer: Get out

Santa : Come in

Interviewer: Oh my God

Santa : Oh my Devil

Interviewer: U r rejected

Santa : I m Selected..

Oh Balle Balle!!!!

Oh Balle Balle!!!!

 

Power Cut

2 Days of Powercut in India made life miserable. Worst affected was Amritsar where all the SARDARS were stuck for 48 hrs. on Escalaters.....

SMS

Sardarji, tell me ...., what is the meaning of SMS ? Sardar angrily said, i know - it means.... S - Sardaron ke M - Mazak udane ki S - Service

Cricket Essay

Teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except Bunty. He wrote No match, due to rain!!!

Expecting Santa

Santa on phone: Doctor my wife is pregnant. She is having pain right now. Doctor: Is this her first child? Santa: No this is her husband speaking.

Santa Chemistry

Professor:Chemical symbol of Barium? Santa: BA Professor:For sodium? Santa: NA Professor:What will we get if 1 atom of BA & 2 atoms of NA combined? Santa: BANANA

Dieting Santa

Jeeto: Have you eaten muli da paratha? Santa: No, I've eaten sandwich. Jeeto: Don't try to lie, I know lips can lie but hips don't lie…:-P

50/50

Sardar and Pathan going somewhere together. They found 1000 Rs. on the way. Pathan: Let's take 50/50. Sardar: What will do of remaining 900?

Net

In battle Santa was wearing mosquito net instead of bullet proof jacket why? ? ? ? Saradar replied O ji  is wich machar nai war sakda, goli kithon ghu se gi?

Beautiful women

Santa asks Priest: Why did god make women so beautiful? Priest: So that you will love them. Santa: But why did God make them so dumb? Priest: So that they will love you.

Sick Leave

Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS: "Me sick, no work" Boss SMS back: "When I am sick I kiss my wife try it" 2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss: "Me ok, ur wife is so nice"

Complete & Finish

Santa: What is the difference between "complete and finish"? Banta: When you marry a right person you are complete and when you marry the wrong one you are finished !!!!!

Speeding Car

Santa: Why have you increased speed of car? Banta: Break has failed. We should reach home before accident.

Bunty's essay

Teacher: Write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi. Bunty : Gandhi was a great man but maa kasam, I dont know who is Jayanthi.

Romantic Santa

On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring. Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.

Santa driver

Boss: I'm giving u driver's job. Starting salary Rs. 3000, is it OK ? Santa: U R great sir! Starting salary is Ok but how much is DRIVING salary?

Banta arguing with Lawyer

Banta to Lawyer: What is your fees? Lawyer: Rs 5000/- for 3 questions. Banta: Isn't it too high? Lawyer: Yes, it is. What is your third question?

Traffic Cop

Santa, Banta & Bobby were going on a motorcycle. Policeman gives hand to stop. Santa shouted: Oye pagal, pehle hi 3 bethe hain tu kahan baithega?

Reason of Marriage

Santa: I got married because I was tired of cooking, cleaning home and washing clothes. Banta: Amazing, I got divorce for the same reason.

Name the Card

Santa: What's the name of your car?

Banta: I don't know but it starts with "T"

Santa: Kamal hai yaar teri gaddi tea nal start hundi hai, apni te Petrol nal start hundi hai

Birds

Teacher: Aasmaan mein udne wali chiz Ande deti hai, Aur zameen pe rahne wali Bachche deti hai. Kaun c chiz aisse hai jo Aasmaan me udti hai par Bache Zameen par deti hai?

Santa: Airhostess !